A few weeks ago I did a silly facebook quiz to find out my “Mantra for 2015”. The result was I AM OPEN. I devoted my yoga & meditation practises to this mantra. I screamed it out diving over every wave, I silently cried it out in the pouring rain, I walked on the beach endlessly repeating I AM OPEN I AM OPEN. It was the first words I would say in the morning and the last before I drifted off to sleep.
Little did I realise that being open and not protecting yourself energetically means you’re open to all life has to offer, the good the bad the ugly. Open to growth, to pain, to fun, to love, to freedom, to responsibility to transformation. For me in the last few weeks this openness led me on a journey of a complete mind, body, soul overhaul. I felt like every chakra has been wrung out, twisted around, broken and only to be recalibrated and put back together.
From the moment I finished work I struggled to find my flow. I hit the silly season hard, non stop socialising, going out, too many late nights, sambucca shots and hangovers. Too little water, exercise and quality time with self. I lost clarity within, made poor decisions my head became a haven for breeding negative thoughts. I was lost without my routine of clients, hump days, structure, friends, yoga classes etc. I strayed far far away from my centre.
Eventhough I was aware and conscious this was happening I chose to justify to myself that this is what you do in the silly season, this is having fun and hence avoiding to learning the lesson, until I was harshly reminded by the universe to REST and start returning to my centre when my old back injury flared up for no apparent reason. I also suffered from a new shoulder pain, and a very persistent ear infection, which forced me to take a double dose of antibiotics and stay out of the ocean (my safe haven). My energy has been at an all time low. My motivation has been suppressed. This was so not the start to the new year I was envisaging.
So for me this beginning of 2015 has been a painful, lacking abundance and deeply uncomfortable, harsh start to 2015. Just to push myself to the limits with challenges I moved house (with a little help from my friends!!). I’ve moved back to Coolum and it feels like home once again. This gave me the encouragement I needed to start the process of nurturing myself and returning to my centre – I am blessed to be able to walk to the beach everyday, meditate in my favourite spot in the world (photo below) and be closer to my family and my tribe. While my head was saying “hurry up and get this year started” my body was not cooperating. It was aching out for nurture, rest, support, and time to heal. I cleaned the entire house, I burnt all my old work files, I detoxed my body, and cleansed my soul in the ocean. When I finally surrendered to all the emotions, physical pain and myself, I found joy and peace in being alone, resting, reading novels from Byrce Courtney (my favourite author), watching the tennis and dare I say it having a nanna nap.
To reflect on the last few weeks I have learnt some valuable health lessons, firstly to listen to my body, to seek assistance before it gets out of control, to provide myself with time & space to heal, but most importantly of all that the answers are within, protect myself daily, let go and heal past workplaces and attachments. And only once I surrendered that all the pieces of the puzzle was put back together.
I have finally returned home. I am centred, my body is healed, my mind in clear and my soul has found its freedom once again. And its pure bliss.
Watch this space for some new and exciting changes coming up soon. My website soon to be released, transformational Tuesdays will be back, Friday reflections and my new office set up all to be revealed at the perfect time. I am excited. I am ready for all the new adventures, opportunities, lessons that 2015 will bring. I AM OPEN. I AM OPEN FOR BUSINESS.